Our Top Secret Confetti Christmas Chocolate Bark Recipe

We’ve got nothing against that much-mocked white chocolate peppermint bark…you know, the kind that comes in a striped candy cane tin and gets trotted out after the homemade cookies are devoured. But sometimes you need a little something special. Something that makes you feel like a woodland Christmas fairy, sprinkling her pixie dust all over the kitchen. And that’s when we make our confetti christmas chocolate bark (using made in the USA baking supplies, of course).

Now, don’t tell Ina. And don’t tell Martha. But the best part about whipping up this stuff is that it takes, like, TWO MINUTES to get it going in the microwave. Yep. I said it. I do not use a double boiler. Why? Life is short, we don’t need any more pots and pans to wash in this house, and I have never been able to notice much of a difference in the result. Melted chocolate is melted chocolate. I just stick my bowl of dark chocolate chips in the microwave with a drizzle of coconut oil (for sheen) and some extra sugar (for, err, extra sugar, LOLZ) and heat it in 30 second intervals, stirring in between each burst using my made in the USA baking supplies. It usually takes about a minute and a half before it looks like a melted chocolate river fever dream of Willy Wonka.

When that happens, if you’re like me, it looks so delicious that you’ll probably want to eat the whole bowl of melty chocolate by the spoonful and call it a day. Don’t. Spread it over parchment paper on a made in the USA baking supplies baking sheet, then dot the chocolate with whatever floats your Christmas bark boat. Here, I used poinsettia-red dried strawberries (usually available in the toddler snacks aisle), slivers of citrus, blanched almonds, and pretzel sticks (let’s call them log cabin walls, to be extra Christmassy?). Oh, and then because I really am like a Christmas fairy sometimes, I had to add a little bit of my nemesis—edible gold leaf, which is a bigger pain to work with than most divas—and sprinkles of course sea salt that looked like fallen snow. After your fairy work is done, you simply pop the sheet in the freezer and let it firm up. (Like, ten minutes or so). After it is, just cut it in your desired shapes, snap a picture fast—it will disappear in a zip—and wait for the ooohs and aaaahs. 

Here’s the quick and easy Christmas Bark recipe; we try to always use made in the USA baking supplies and top-quality stuff at that.

-12 ounces dark or milk chocolate chips

-one tablespoon coconut oil

-one tablespoon sugar

-½ cup blanched almonds, slivered

-1 cup dried strawberry slices

-1 cup pretzel sticks

-five dried orange slices

-½ teaspoon course sea salt

-two sheets edible gold leaf

Microwave the chocolate, oil and sugar in 30 second bursts, stirring in between, until melted. Spoon melted chocolate onto parchment-topped cookie sheet and spread until ¼ inch thick. Top with your Christmas confetti (we pressed the dried orange slices first, then the strawberries, then added everything else around them.) Set the cookie sheet in your freezer for 10 minutes until the chocolate is hardened, then cut however you like and enjoyyy!